A Tribute to Arne – The Man Who Said “Tvy Vale”
There are men who swear like drunken sailors.
And then there are men like my grandfather.
With a father who had a whole dictionary of swear words in his back pocket, in contrast to a grandfather who, in our family, stood out like a rare bird: a man from Småland who didn’t even have the heart to insult an ant. The worst expletive he could utter? “Tvy vale.” An expression that, in standard Swedish, lands somewhere between “ugh” and a mild eye-roll. A verbal shrug.
There was something so provocatively kind about it. In a world where people lose it over a delayed delivery, the wrong team lineup, or someone hanging the toilet paper the wrong way, Arne went around being mild, friendly – almost inconceivably thoughtful. As if he refused to add more crap to the world than absolutely necessary.
Tvy Vale – The Kindest Swear Word
“Tvy vale” wasn’t just his swear word; it was his boundary marker.
That little expression popped up when something was truly going to hell, but he still refused to unleash full verbal diarrhea on life.
It was tvy vale when someone behaved badly.
Tvy vale when something felt unfair.
Tvy vale when AIK played – because there, for some mysterious reason, was his limit.
That AIK, of all things, could trigger that mild Småland irritation is almost poetic. We all have our weak spots: for some, it’s messy bathrooms; for others, it’s running out of toilet paper; for Arne, it was apparently AIK. But even then – no hatred, no harsh words, just a firm, slightly resigned “tvy vale,” as if giving the world another chance to get its act together.
The kindest wins
Arne was proof that the kindest can indeed win. Not in that loud, applause-seeking way. But quietly, steadily, through the way he was and through action. By not throwing dirt when he had the chance. By not fueling conflicts. By being that dependable person who makes a room feel softer – without making a big deal out of it.
It’s easy to romanticize temperament, anger, grand words, and grand gestures. But in contrast to a father who knew every swear word in the book, there stands a grandfather as the counter-evidence: you can live a whole life, be straightforward, have humor, have opinions – without yelling at the world.
Perhaps that’s what makes him so memorable.
That when others would have roared, sighed, slammed doors – he chose “tvy vale.”
His Legacy
Many of us carry our parents’ and grandparents’ expressions with us, like small invisible family legacies. “Tvy vale” is one such word. A word that carries a whole way of being human. A reminder that you can react without destroying. Set boundaries without tearing things apart. Be clear without being harsh.
Perhaps that’s where his biggest impact lies.
In every moment you think “now Grandpa would have said tvy vale” instead of losing it.
In every situation where you feel you could unleash a whole dirty vocabulary – but instead choose the kinder path.
Arne may have been a man from Småland who wouldn't offend an ant.
But the effect he left behind was anything but small.
The kindest doesn't always win the loudest – but the kindest echoes the longest.
Kindness is harder and harder to find, but we must cherish it. One should be kind to fellow human beings, to nature, and to one's surroundings. Being kind is a free gesture, but it should not be taken for granted. If someone is kind, one accepts it and returns the same volume of kindness. If one only takes, well, then we say tvy vale and move on.
Thank you, Grandpa, for showing what kindness was and how strong and tangible it can be to be good.